Just in case you missed them, here are the top five posts for the month of June. The biggest surprise to me is the Valentine’s Day post is still running at #4 several months past February. It seems that search engines keep directing people to the blog. However, I’m not so surprised that The Bamboo Principle was at the top.
I always appreciate it when you share my posts with others via the social media buttons at the top and bottom of each page. Thanks!
Top 5 for June:
Enjoy the ones you missed and share the ones that inspired you the most!
QUESTION: Which one of these top five inspired you the most and why? I’d love to hear your comment below. Thanks.
My wife Linda and I just returned from vacation. For several days, we stayed at A Valley View Inn of New Bedford—gathered for a reunion with my 92 year old father in-law and Linda’s siblings and some of our nieces and nephews. During our Ohio stay in the middle of the Amish-saturated countryside, our iPhones indicated “No Service” the entire time. No phone. No email. No text messages. No internet. No social media. No blogging. Nothing. Not even a television. We were unplugged.
It was a little disconcerting at first. What if someone needed to reach us? What if our twin-laden pregnant daughter went into labor? What if my neighbor needed to reach us about something happening to our home? But it only took a day and it was mostly relaxing.
I say “mostly relaxing,” because there were some initial electronic withdrawal symptoms. I wanted to check the weather forecast. I wanted to read the electronic newspaper from back home. I wanted to post some newly captured photos on Facebook. I didn’t. I couldn’t.
While I was unplugged from my normal links to my daily world, I was connected. I connected to our extended family. I talked. I listened. I laughed. I enjoyed the early morning harmonies of songbirds. I enjoyed my hobby of photographing the birds. I listened to the clip-clop of Arabian horses pulling Amish buggies on the road nearby. I connected to God, self and others.
Here are a few quick reflections on the experience:
Once I got past the first 24 hours, I stopped the habitual looking at my phone to see if there were any new emails or voicemails.
My attention span increased. I found it easier to keep focused in conversations with family members.
I found a sense of relief from the pressure to constantly read and respond to emails or Facebook messages.
I felt my emotional and physical tank being refilled as I disconnected from the things that drain me and connected with the things that refuel me.
If you haven’t ever deliberately unplugged for a specific period of time, I encourage you to do so. Even if you can only manage forty-eight hours, it’s worth it. Trust me, you need it more than you think. We all do.
QUESTION: Have you unplugged recently? Share briefly one thing you learned.
Most of us Americans love to work. Or perhaps we’re afraid not to. A 2010 survey indicated that the average American accrues 18 vacation days and uses only 16. The average French worker takes more than twice the vacation time. Okay, what goes through your mind when you read that statistic?
To some, the difference between American and European workers is made clear through this little statistic of who works more. We’re productive. They’re lazy. The truth is, it might say the opposite. Europeans understand that breaks improve workplace efficiency. We mistakenly believe that more hours will always increase output, while ignoring the clear evidence: The secret to being an effective worker is not working too hard. Really. I’m not kidding.
Back in the 1920’s, Henry Ford discovered that productivity returns increased in his automobile factory when he reduced the workweek from six days to five, and 48 hours to 40. Ford said, “We know from our experience in changing from six to five days and back again that we can get at least as great production in five days as we can in six.” Ford’s insight 90 years ago is part of a long tradition of productivity-obsessed Americans.
Numerous studies have shown that productivity increases when we take breaks throughout our day and when we take vacations. Over 25 years ago, Pastor Rick Warren challenged me to “divert daily, withdraw weekly and abandon annually.” Small breaks improve concentration. Long breaks replenish job performance.
Clinical Psychologist Francine Lederer wrote, “The impact that taking a vacation has on one’s mental health is profound…most people have better life perspective and are more motivated to achieve their goals after a vacation, even if it is a 24-hour time-out.”
The bottom line is, breaks are better for our brains than overtime. Where you get your break — from a half hour doing social media while having lunch, a day in the park, or a week on vacation with your family — doesn’t matter so much as that you get it.
I’m going on vacation this week. We’ll be spending a couple days in Jacksonville with our daughter and son in-love, helping them set up cribs, changing tables and more to get ready for their soon-to-be-born twins. And then we’ll be driving to Ohio to reconnect with my wife’s 92 year old father and her siblings at a bed and breakfast in the heart of Amish country.
Maybe I can learn to slow down from the Amish. Since we will be having two different meals with Amish neighbors, I think I’ll ask how they manage to get so much done? I’ll report what I find out on a later blog — of course, after I get back!
QUESTION: Are you planning to take a vacation this summer? Do you mind sharing about it?
At my home growing up in Oregon, the third Sunday of June each year was always at least one celebration. But sometimes, it was a three-for-one deal. If that third Sunday happened to fall on June 21st, it was my dad’s birthday, the first day of summer and Father’s Day all on the same day!
After hearing a sermon at her church about Mother’s Day, Sonora Smart Dodd told her pastor she thought dads ought to be honored in a similar way. Sonora wanted to honor her father, Civil War veteran William Smart Jackson– a single parent who raised six children. She suggested her father’s birthday, June 5, as the day to honor fathers. But her pastor wanted a bit more time to prepare his sermon so he gave the first Father’s Day sermon on the third Sunday of June. Father’s Day was first celebrated at the YMCA in Spokane, WA on June 19,1910.
The first introduction of a bill in Congress was 1913 and President Woodrow Wilson tried to push it forward in 1916 and again President Calvin Coolidge suggested a national holiday in 1924. But a national proclamation always fell short for fear of commercialization (think tacky ties) of Father’s Day. It wasn’t until President Lyndon B. Johnson was in office in 1966 that he proclaimed Father’s Day as a National holiday on the Third Sunday of June and it became law under President Nixon in 1972.
Father’s Day is one of those bittersweet days in our current American culture. It’s sweet when you have an honorable father to honor. Even if it’s an honorable father who is no longer living, good memories bring warm feelings of comfort and peace.
However, most of us are aware of the bitter reality—many in our culture do not or have not had meaningful relationships with their dads. Absentee dads are an epidemic. Uninvolved dads are common. If that is your experience, I do pray you will find help and healing to move forward.
The truth is, caring, connected and compassionate dads are so vital in the healthy development of kids. If you did or didn’t receive such fathering, you have an opportunity to make a difference in the next generation. You can invest with intentionality in your own children or grandchildren. Or you can spend yourself on behalf of the fatherless kids right here in our own community. If you live in Southwest Florida, organizations like Not in My City (www.NotInMyCity.org) will help you mentor an underprivileged child in a Lee County school. Big Brother/Big Sister (www.bbbssun.org) would welcome you to mentor a child without an active dad.
This Father’s Day, whatever your story, pledge to express appreciation to your dad or some man in your life that modeled integrity, grace, strength and influenced you in some positive way. And if you are a dad, recommit yourself to connect with and invest in your children, young or old. Happy Father’s Day!
QUESTION: Do you have any memories to share from your father or another role model? Use the comment section below.
It’s almost Father’s Day weekend again! A year ago, I was on a fourteen hour three-leg “red-eye” flight from Florida to Oregon to be with my dad. After speaking with him by phone nearly every day during his month-long stay in the hospital, I wanted to spend more time with him and try to help my nearby siblings encourage him as he was discharged into a rehabilitation facility. His excruciatingly painful and debilitating back surgery left him unable to walk and care for himself.
Thurlowe Gingerich, my dad.
I’ve been reflecting on this past year and what I’ve learned from my dad through this experience. Even though he spent three months in a rehab facility, he finally was able to go home. Even though he couldn’t stand or walk for nine months, he now can do both with the help of his walker. Last week, he drove his car again for the first time in a year.
Here’s what I’ve learned from my dad:
Attitude Determines Altitude – There were times when my father wanted to give up and just die because the pain was so severe. There were moments when he wondered aloud if he would ever get out of his wheelchair. But most of the time, he chose to refocus his attitude and make the best of the situation and not spend his entire life focused on the “what ifs” and the worst-case scenario.
Perseverance Pays Off – While visiting him again over the Christmas and New Year holidays, I watched my dad strain with every ounce of energy as he grabbed a wall bar and barely pulled himself up out of his wheelchair to stand for 30 seconds and then lowered himself down, totally exhausted and in pain. But, repeated 30-second attempts progressed to 60 and then 90 seconds of standing. Just a couple months ago, I remember how he celebrated on the phone because he was able to stand 3 minutes, and then 4 minutes and 5 minutes at a time. And, the same with walking – one step, two steps, 10, 25, 50 and more.
Dennis and his father last summer
Determination Inspires Others – Over the last year, my dad has had several physical therapists. One of those therapists, Katrina, was very inspired by my dad’s attitude, perseverance and determination during her three-times-a-week sessions. She left the company that provided the home-based physical therapy covered by my parent’s insurance. Yet, months later, Katrina still continues to volunteer a few extra sessions on her own time because she wants to participate in the improbable comeback my dad is making.
Stay Focused on the Goal – My father has focused on being able to walk and drive again. I found it interesting that he declined the offer of a free electric scooter that was made available to him. He expressed his reason. Dad felt getting comfortable driving around in his scooter would cause him to settle for less and he would lose focus on his goals. Instead, he reasoned that using a regular wheelchair would remind him to stay focused on what he was working toward.
When I really stop to reflect and remember, my father (who turns 84 next week), has always exemplified these kind of characteristics throughout his life. As a farmer and businessman, he’s had a lot of practice overcoming obstacles, setbacks and difficulties. And really, we all tend to live out our older years just like we lived our younger years. So, are you living life now with the characteristics that you want to exemplify in your later years? If not, why not make changes starting today?
QUESTION: What is one area you want to grow in so you are better prepared for your later years? Sharing it with us in the comment section below.
Have you heard about the Chinese Bamboo tree whose seed goes dormant when planted? No amount of attention to the seed will arouse it from its sleep. However, careful care and nurture is required during this dormancy. Even though no visible signs of life are noticeable for FIVE YEARS, at the end of that time something extraordinary occurs. Suddenly the seed sprouts and grows into a mature tree more than ninety feet high in that one growing season. Incredible!
The Bible says, “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up” (Galatians 6:9). Our children and grandchildren can be like that Chinese bamboo tree. Marriage and other relationships need time. Our work. Our ministry. Our investments. Most of us are too impatient.
Rick Warren said, “We tend to overestimate what we can accomplish in the short term and we underestimate what we can accomplish over the long term.” Wow, so true. It’s exactly my ministry experience as a pastor who started a church. I was occasionally irked about the slowness of growth and the lack of momentum in the beginning. Now, 27 years later, I’m constantly awed by the speed of change and advancement.
Sowing and waiting to see results—I call this the Bamboo Principle. While it applies to many areas of life, I’ve found that one of the hardest places to patiently wait is in family relationships. You can do most everything right with your kids on a regular basis in their young years, only to discover that as adults, they have moved in a direction you did not expect. The temptation is to try to ‘fix’ them by digging them up or over-tending. I’m learning. Be patient.
God is at work in our kids, but they have to make their own decisions. Even when you see them moving in the wrong direction, don’t despair. Keep speaking blessing into their lives and never stop praying. Guard yourself from a spirit of criticism or nagging. Keep on nurturing and loving. Don’t try to fix things. The seed has been planted. Give it time to grow.
QUESTION: What is one thing you are “waiting” to see grow? I’d love for you to share it in the comment section below.
One of the grandest things you can do in life is to leave a legacy that extends beyond you to generations to come. There is no better place to start than with your children and grandchildren. What are you passing on to the next generations after you? Is it something that brings pride or shame? Is it what you want to be remembered for or something you would rather have others forget?
I was reminded of the importance of leaving a legacy through a recent blog post on the Grandparenting Network website. The blog was called “Five Ways to Pass Your Legacy to the Next Generations.” The post was based on the Hebrew scripture from Psalm 78:4, “Tell the next generation the praiseworthy deeds of the Lord, his power and the wonders he has done.” As parents, grandparents and responsible adults, God intends for us to leave something that will last far beyond our lifetime.
As I look at my children who are all married and in their 30’s, I’ve got great pride in what I observe. They are good-looking like their mother. They all have at least a four-year college degree. They are successful in their careers. They are growing in their intimacy with God. They have learned to develop healthy relationships. And some of them are parents or parents in-waiting and doing an awesome job of passing on their solid values to the next generation.
Here are some things I’m learning about passing legacy to the next generations (inspired by Catherine Jacobs, founder of Pass the Legacy) :
Tell Your Story – Our children and grandchildren love to hear stories about our lives. We talk about our successes and our failures. In the process, they learn that life has its ups and downs, the good and the bad, but God is available to walk with you at all times.
My wife Linda teaching our 7 year old granddaughter Analise to ice skate while on a trip to Oregon this year.
Intentionally Make Memories – We have always wanted our children and grandchildren to have great memories imprinted on their minds and hearts. Even common or painful events can be transformed into powerful memories that bring warm feelings if you are intentional and careful about choosing a positive attitude and response to those situations.
Create Meaningful Traditions – In today’s turbulent culture, children long for security and stability. Regular and unique traditions provide much-needed consistency and steadiness that builds trust and confidence in children and grandchildren.
Encourage Intimacy with God – This is a relationship of utmost importance for now and all eternity. Model it. Nurture it. Encourage it. Facilitate it. This once place where you want to make sure the “No Child Left Behind” policy is high-lighted and practiced.
Speak Words of Affirmation – No one can give greater encouragement than a parent or a grandparent. While the words of teachers, clergy and other adults are vitally important, kids and grandkids still long for the affirmation of family. Watch their faces light up as they soak in every word of blessing you give them. Your words of support and unconditional love will bolster self-esteem and empowerment like nothing else.
Every minute of purposeful investment in future generations is fresh seed sown for a fruitful harvest. This week, leverage your opportunities to pass it on.
QUESTION: What suggestion would you add to pass the legacy on? Share it below.
In six to eight weeks I’m going to be doubly blessed! My wife and I already have two granddaughters from our oldest son and his wife. But soon, our daughter and her husband will be having twins – a boy and a girl. So, our grandchild count will go from two to four. We will be doubly blessed! I’ve discovered over the last seven years that grandparenting is greater than I even imagined.
Grandparents play such an important role in family and culture. Linda and I recently had our two granddaughters (ages 7 and 3) at our house for four days. Earlier this year, we took our 7 year old on a two-week trip from Florida to Oregon to visit extended family. It’s tiring but so much fun. It is such an honor and delight to pour into the youngest generation. To be able to shape and nurture them for short periods of time is always a blessing. To see them soak up the attention and the love is a special privilege.
Due to my hobby of photography, I’m known as the “Grand Paparazzi.” This grandpa loves to capture those memorable images that we don’t want to ever forget. They crave the focused attention. They love posing and they eagerly await looking at the pictures I’ve seized during their visits. They treasure the photo books we’ve made after the trips and special events. It makes them feel beautiful, valued and important.
Whether you are a new or seasoned grandparent or maybe not a grandparent at all, you can take a young person under your wing and pass on a legacy that will leave an incredible impression and impact. You can change the generations to come, one child at a time.
There are many excellent resources available. There is a Grandparents Day website that has dozens of ideas for celebrating and doing something grand on behalf of children and grandparents. There’s a great book called Grandparenting Through Obstacles that may be just the resource you need right now. There’s another website called Christian Grandparenting Network that has a weekly thought-provoking blog, prayers, articles, books and other resources available.
Grand children can be a big blessing to you but you can be a monstrous blessing to them! More to come next time with some specific suggestions for passing on your legacy to the next generations.
QUESTIONS: What have you found to be the most rewarding part of grandparenting? Share it below.
The earliest known rear-view mirror mounted on a motor vehicle appeared in a racecar at the inaugural Indianapolis 500 in 1911. It was then introduced by car manufacturers in 1914. But back in 1906, Dorothy Levitt wrote in her book, The Woman and the Car that women should “carry a little hand-mirror in a convenient place when driving” so they could “hold the mirror aloft from time to time in order to see behind while driving in traffic.”
When I was taking Driver’s Ed in high school, my instructor Willard Kennel, taught me a lot about the importance of using my rearview mirror. Willard taught me that road traffic situations were always in a dynamic change process. If I only observed and collected traffic information in front of me and missed the sides and the rear, I was actually overlooking 75% of my driving environment. Mr. Kennel suggested I learn to just glance in the rear-view mirror a small percentage of the time at regular intervals so I could maximize awareness of my surroundings. That advice tidbit, has helped me to be nearly accident-free in almost 45 years of driving.
I happen to believe glancing in the rear-view mirror of life helps us to improve our living. Looking in the review-mirror of life too much leads to phrases like “we always used to…,” or “back in the good old days…” Staring in the rear-view mirror too much makes us more likely to collide with the present and the future. Like in driving, we need to find just that right ratio so we safely navigate life.
The value of looking in the rear-view mirror of life includes:
Learning from our past mistakes
Learning from the mistakes of others
Celebrating where we’ve come from
Seeing our past regrets so we can shape the future to be lived with reward
Discovering our sweet spot by reviewing where we experienced the greatest satisfaction and fruitfulness
Hindsight is a useless tool unless we learn and grow from it. Jody Picoult received good counsel, “My dad used to say that living with regrets was like driving a car that only moved in reverse.” Admittedly, changing even the negative things in our past would fundamentally change who we are. God loves to grow lush fruit out of the compost of our lives.
Keep looking forward. Yes, glance backward and sideways for just a moment to make sure you are getting a 360 degree view of life and not missing the beautiful scenery along the journey. But don’t forget to keep your focus on the road ahead!
QUESTION: What additional values have you discovered in looking back at your life? Share your comment below.
In case you missed them, here are the top 5 blog posts during May 2013. I hope you’ll enjoy the ones you missed and share them via social media with others who might benefit from them.
And believe it or not, the Valentine’s Day post is still number 4 even in the month of May. Interestingly enough, the February 14 post has been the top one so far this year! So, here they are in order of the most views:
How Do You Want to Be Remembered?
Enjoy and share!
