It’s almost Father’s Day weekend again! A year ago, I was on a fourteen hour three-leg “red-eye” flight from Florida to Oregon to be with my dad. After speaking with him by phone nearly every day during his month-long stay in the hospital, I wanted to spend more time with him and try to help my nearby siblings encourage him as he was discharged into a rehabilitation facility. His excruciatingly painful and debilitating back surgery left him unable to walk and care for himself.
I’ve been reflecting on this past year and what I’ve learned from my dad through this experience. Even though he spent three months in a rehab facility, he finally was able to go home. Even though he couldn’t stand or walk for nine months, he now can do both with the help of his walker. Last week, he drove his car again for the first time in a year.
Here’s what I’ve learned from my dad:
Attitude Determines Altitude – There were times when my father wanted to give up and just die because the pain was so severe. There were moments when he wondered aloud if he would ever get out of his wheelchair. But most of the time, he chose to refocus his attitude and make the best of the situation and not spend his entire life focused on the “what ifs” and the worst-case scenario.
Perseverance Pays Off – While visiting him again over the Christmas and New Year holidays, I watched my dad strain with every ounce of energy as he grabbed a wall bar and barely pulled himself up out of his wheelchair to stand for 30 seconds and then lowered himself down, totally exhausted and in pain. But, repeated 30-second attempts progressed to 60 and then 90 seconds of standing. Just a couple months ago, I remember how he celebrated on the phone because he was able to stand 3 minutes, and then 4 minutes and 5 minutes at a time. And, the same with walking – one step, two steps, 10, 25, 50 and more.
Determination Inspires Others – Over the last year, my dad has had several physical therapists. One of those therapists, Katrina, was very inspired by my dad’s attitude, perseverance and determination during her three-times-a-week sessions. She left the company that provided the home-based physical therapy covered by my parent’s insurance. Yet, months later, Katrina still continues to volunteer a few extra sessions on her own time because she wants to participate in the improbable comeback my dad is making.
Stay Focused on the Goal – My father has focused on being able to walk and drive again. I found it interesting that he declined the offer of a free electric scooter that was made available to him. He expressed his reason. Dad felt getting comfortable driving around in his scooter would cause him to settle for less and he would lose focus on his goals. Instead, he reasoned that using a regular wheelchair would remind him to stay focused on what he was working toward.
When I really stop to reflect and remember, my father (who turns 84 next week), has always exemplified these kind of characteristics throughout his life. As a farmer and businessman, he’s had a lot of practice overcoming obstacles, setbacks and difficulties. And really, we all tend to live out our older years just like we lived our younger years. So, are you living life now with the characteristics that you want to exemplify in your later years? If not, why not make changes starting today?
QUESTION: What is one area you want to grow in so you are better prepared for your later years? Sharing it with us in the comment section below.