You know them. Maybe you are one of them. The one who loves to be the first to clap at the conclusion of a great song or when the speaker makes a powerful point in her presentation. Some love to lead the applause. They feel a sense of power in that they initiated an entire audience’s applause or even a standing ovation.
I love to lead the applause too! But not in the way I just described. I usually become a follower in those situations. But, I love to lead the applause in seeing next-generation leaders succeed and do well. As one who will soon be looking at my 50’s in the rear-view mirror, I’m more passionate than ever about younger leaders thriving. Especially in the organization that I founded and led for many years, there is deep satisfaction and a sense of significance that comes from seeing my successor flourish.
In their book, Transformissional Coaching, Steve Ogne and Tim Roehl write, “The great leader is not the one in the spotlight. He’s the one leading the applause” (p. 63). That’s the kind of leadership legacy I want to leave. I want to make sure the hand-off to the next generation is done so well that I can be the very first one to applaud the new victories, the new innovations, the creativity and the progress.
Level five leadership is the terminology my from-afar mentors like Jim Collins and John Maxwell use to describe the leader who builds enduring greatness in a business or organization by putting the success and future of the organization first and foremost above his or her own ambitions. To practice this level of leadership we must be intentional about mentoring and developing young leaders and finding every way possible to encourage and applaud their growth as leaders.
So let me ask you, are you mentoring anyone who is a generation behind you? Are you investing in anyone who has less knowledge or experience than you in a specific area of your expertise? If not, why not? Are you just not aware and attentive to the need for such mentoring? Or do you lack confidence and operate with a mindset of scarcity—thinking someone you invest in will take your job or step on your fingers as they climb past you on the ladder toward success? Or maybe you have another reason or excuse.
If you are developing the leaders around you, are you intentional about leading the applause for those leaders? Do you catch them doing things well and point it out to them and others? Are you finding ways to encourage them and build them up? Do you invite them into reflective feedback to empower them to see the high points and the low points of their performance? We as mentors and supervisors must lead the applause for those we are developing. A few of us might find this to be normal and natural but most of us must work hard at growing ourselves into leaders who lead the applause for others around us.
So today, who is the one person that comes to mind whom you need to look for a reason to help them celebrate a success with you leading the applause?
QUESTION: What helps you notice the things that need applauding in the people around you? Please share it below. Thanks!
On a wind-less day, the lake behind our home is as smooth as glass. Throw a rock in to the lake and you will see an ever-expanding circle of ripples gradually spread across the water. You’ve seen it before. We call it the ripple effect. It happens in many ways and many places. One small action can have an enormous impact. I have one example.
Last school year, a friend of mine, Heather Mazurkiewicz made a comment on Facebook how she was inspired to smile every day by a school crossing guard near her home—all because he waves at every person who drives through the intersection. I knew exactly which crossing guard she was talking about because I drive through that intersection every day on the way to my office. Heather inspired me to stop my car that very day and roll down the window to tell him how inspiring he is to me and others. After driving by and waving back for seven years, I discovered that day this friendly crossing guard had a name—John Haley.
I wrote a blog the next day about Crossing Guard Inspiration and how the world needs more John Haley’s who smile, wave and connect with passers-by. That blog spiked the statistical readership graph upward. Later I gave a printed copy of the blog post to John Haley. He just smiled and embarrassingly told me “thank you.”
A few weeks ago, one of my longtime friends, Ron Hostetler called me from Atlanta to tell me he shared the blog with his longtime friend—a school crossing guard in Chicago. His friend shared the blog with his boss who supervises the Chicago-area crossing guards. This friend’s boss decided to read the story of John Haley as an inspiration to all the school crossing guards under his leadership at their next gathering.
Last week, I stopped my car again and spoke to John and told him about the ripple effect of his life. His faithful wave and smile to students, parents and passing motorists is an inspiration that has rippled the waters all the way from Cape Coral, FL to Chicago, IL. I thanked him for making a difference. And John just shyly smiled and said “thank you.”
And thanks to Heather Mazurkiewicz for her simple post on Facebook that inspired me to stop and talk to John and write a blog about him. The ripple effect is always in action.
What kind of action and attitude will you display today and throughout this week that will ripple out to others near and far?
QUESTION: Do you have a brief story of the ripple effect in action? I’d love to hear it in the comment section below.
In case you missed them, here are the top five posts for the month of October! For the first time, I’ve also included a few of what I consider to be the top comments for this month. I so appreciate your interactions, additions and responses to what I write. I would also like to thank all of you who have shared my posts with others. Sharing my posts with others is a wonderful compliment. Thanks!
If there are posts you have found inspiring or helpful in your life but haven’t shared them, I would love to have you pass them along on your social media sites using the buttons at the top and bottom of each individual post! Thanks so very much!
Top Posts
The Greatest Leadership Challenge
Here are some of the comments I selected from October:
“Thanks Dennis, I also enjoyed this article. I can definitely identify with this article.” –Flora
“I couldn’t agree more.” –George
“Tomorrow’s leaders who walk in integrity before Christ listen to Him. They take extended times to listen to The Lord who holds tomorrow.” –Greg
“Great post- love the idea with the restroom workers. Going to do that myself next time I get a chance!” –Angela
“I try to remember my words when I go to Walmart. I think the workers work so hard.. Talking to people on a daily bases, I try to bring out the best in them so they will feel better about themselves. I really have to practice that concept with God’s help. It is wonderful to stay positive too.” –Lillian
“Dennis, thanks for reminding me of the power of my words to either tear down or build up those who I come in contact with today.” –Steve
“This is really great. I have sent it on to my kids and have told them to send it on to our grand-kids in college and Sydney in the Coast Guard Academy… Its good advice for all ages. Thank you… You always come up with great things for the rest of us to share with our friends and loved ones…” –Janet
QUESTION: What was your favorite post in October? Any posts you would like to see in November?
The reality is, only a few people really become long-term leaders in their areas of expertise. Most leaders fade. Only a small percentage of politicians rise to the top and stay at the top. Only a few ministry leaders are still relevant in their sixties. Only a few writers repeatedly produce best sellers. Most leaders flame out like fireworks.
So what’s the secret to longevity in leadership? I read a blog post by Donald Miller a while back on this very topic. His emphasis was to encourage peaking at age 65. Miller wrote how those who are very successful in their 20’s tend to decline in their 30’s and 40’s due to many energetic short-term goals but few long-term goals and often a lack of wisdom to manage the success.
The other problem that Miller points out is the mistake of trying to be a fashionable and trendy leader. He wisely states, “Don’t fall for it. If you become a fashionable leader of the moment, you’ll be gone as fast as bell bottoms. The same people who praise you today will be distancing themselves tomorrow.” Unfashionable leaders who last are in the category of Mother Theresa, Margaret Thatcher and Warren Buffet.
In his Storyline blog, Miller suggests we take the time to sit down and ask ourselves what we would want our lives to look like if we peaked at 65—and then plan accordingly. Do the things today that will take you to that peak. Miller’s prediction is that “you’ll start rising above your peers somewhere in your thirties and continue that slight incline through your coaching and wisdom years. If you do this, you’ll be a sought after expert in your given field when you enter into your sixties, and likely well before. All your competition will be reeling in their past glory and you will still be relevant.”
Here’s some core things I would echo from Miller based on my own experience and observations. These will help you to be a leader that lasts:
Stay Connected to the Truth – Sensationalism, emotionalism and shock-jock comments are for the moment. The year-after-year truthful and trusted message will always outlast and endure the message of the moment.
Stay Consistent – Consistent quality over the long haul keeps people coming back for more. Take your time to get it right. And, make it right if you don’t get it right the first time.
Stay in Your Groove – Make sure you know what you are exceptionally good at and stick with it. Know a lot about something instead of a little about everything.
Stay with Your Long-term Plan – Short-term goals are good but if you don’t have a long-term plan, you will waste a lot of time chasing your tail. Who do you want to be when you are 65 or 75? Does your to-do list you’re working on today take you in that direction?
Miller summed up his lasting leadership musings with a couple comments I love. They are worth contemplating today. Here they are. “You are becoming tomorrow’s leader, not today’s leader. And if you’re already today’s leader, start focusing on tomorrow because today is almost done. Either way, there’s no downside to long-term vision.”
QUESTION: What qualities of an enduring leader did I miss? Please add yours in the comment section.
I’m competitive. I hate to lose at anything. I have a brother who is 18 months older than I so I learned early in life that sometimes you win and sometimes you lose. We’ve all said it, “Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose.” The truth is, everyone loses at some point or another. The best of the best athletes experience loss. The people who are at the top of the best organizations experience downturns. The question is, what do you do when you lose? Do you just shrug your shoulders, hang your head, accept it and move on? Or, are there other options?
One of my mentors from afar is John Maxwell. From the first time I heard him speak in 1986, through listening to tapes or CD’s and reading many of his books over the last decades, I’ve learned a bunch about leadership and life. I love the title of his newly released book, Sometimes You Win, Sometimes You Learn. Learning is the best option when you just can’t put another mark in the “win” column.
Inventor Thomas Edison is known for his statement, “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” Everyone falls short of their goals at times. Everyone makes mistakes. The people who succeed are the ones who pick themselves up, dust themselves off, figure out what went wrong and give it another try with new knowledge and understanding.
Interestingly, J.K. Rowling had twelve publishers reject her Harry Potter manuscript before someone agreed to give it a try. Colonel Sanders was 65 years old when he poured his meager $105 Social Security check into his gas tank to drive around in a white suit, knocking on doors trying to sell his fried chicken recipe. He was told “no” 1,009 times before the first “yes.’ Walt Disney was turned down for Disney World financing 302 times before someone finally said “yes.” Vincent Van Gogh only sold one painting in his lifetime—and that was to a friend. Despite that he kept painting and finished over 800 pieces. There is no success without failure.
Here are three words that have helped me turn losses into wins:
REFRAME—Try to look at your situation from different angles. Ask God, family, friends or mentors to give you honest feedback. With humility, receive the suggestions and counsel of others. Use the information to get a better picture of what happened and why. Never waste a failure. You can always learn something.
REVISE—Be willing to step back and detach yourself a bit from the emotion of the loss and pretend you’re looking at someone else’s situation and think about what you might suggest to them. Be open to new ideas that are offered when you ask for feedback and then form a new plan of action.
REFOCUS—Instead of continually second-guessing yourself and inviting everyone to a huge pity party to celebrate your disappointment and failure, refocus on a new plan and how you want to proceed. Next to asking for God’s grace to fill your heart and mind and cleanse you from a sense of failure and doubt, the most crucial thing you can do to overcome disappointment is to embrace a new path and focus on what’s ahead.
Sometimes you win, sometimes you learn. The hinge is all about your response to failure. Learning is always your best option when you’ve encountered a loss. And then, losing always leads to winning.
QUESTION: What would you add? I would love to hear how you turn losses into wins!
It’s a lie. Absolutely not true. The rhyme I heard on the playground in elementary school is simply false. “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” Nothing could be further from the truth. Words matter. Words make a difference.
There’s a catchy song by Hawk Nelson that I can’t get out of my mind. The lyrics of the song “Words” go like this:
They’ve made me feel like a prisoner
They’ve made me feel set free
They’ve made me feel like a criminal
Made me feel like a king
They’ve lifted my heart
To places I’d never been
And they’ve dragged me down
Back to where I began
Words can build you up
Words can break you down
Start a fire in your heart or
Put it out
And then the refrain of the song is a prayer of hope and commitment: “Let my words be life, Let my words be truth, I don’t wanna say a word, Unless it points the world back to You.”
King Solomon of ancient Hebrew fame said it this way, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue” (Proverbs 18:21). What if we each took that truth to heart every single day of our lives as leaders, parents, friends and neighbors. You are either going to bring life or death to your spouse, your children, your employee, your customer or a stranger today by what comes out of your mouth. That is powerful when you pause to reflect.
Every single day your words either encourage or discourage, build up or tear down, elate or deflate the people around you. What will the people you have conversations with today, experience?
Today, I’m flying from Florida to Oregon to spend a week with my parents and other family members. I plan to speak to every airport restroom worker that I see today and thank them for what they do to keep these busy restrooms clean. I can’t wait. It always seems to catch them by surprise and repeatedly brings a smile to their faces.
QUESTION: What is one thing you will do today to speak words of blessing to others? Please share it below so others are encouraged. Thanks!
A YEAR AGO TODAY…A MENTOR OF MINE CHANGED HIS ADDRESS FROM EARTH TO HEAVEN…HERE’S A REPOST OF WHAT I WROTE THAT DAY 10/11/12:
Today, our world lost an authentic down-to-earth saint. Not a saint in some formal religious way, but an everyday kind of saint. He was a dad, a grandpa, a great grandpa, a faithful husband of 60+ years, a pastor for 58 years, a friend of thousands, a spiritual mentor to hundreds and a ministry partner of mine for nearly 27 years. I will miss him!!!
There’s way too much to say about Tony Hostetler in this short space, but here’s what came to mind as I touched his still-warm 89 year-old hands this afternoon–just a few minutes after he took his last breath. This is a man who lived a fruit full life. A scripture in the Bible came to my mind.
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control.” (Galatians 5:22-23 NIV)
Pastor Tony consistently, every day, in every situation, exemplified these fruit in his life. I’ve watched him respond to every imaginable situation throughout multiple decades of ministry partnership. His life was full of the fruit of the Holy Spirit. And that is why Facebook is about to crash right now due to the hundreds of online comments and wall posts about how Tony impacted their lives. His faith was full of fruit — Spirit fruit.
Here’s just a few things Tony taught me about how to live so I can be remembered as a saint:
- Love God and Love People with all your heart, soul, mind and strength
- Live every day with gratitude
- Fill your mind and your mouth with God’s Word
- Have a short memory when it comes to the sins of others
- Brag on others much more than you brag on yourself
- Do what ever you do with all your might
- You are never too old to try something new
- Smile and hug often
- Believe that with God, all things are possible
I will miss Tony as a spiritual mentor, a faithful friend and a priceless ministry partner. See you later Pastor Tony!
QUESTION: What is the the most important thing you want to be remembered for? Add your comment below.
Dan Black writes in his newly released book, The Leadership Mandate, “The foundation for positive influence is based on your ability to successfully lead and manage yourself.” I agree. I completely agree. The greatest leadership challenge I have is self-leadership. To lead oneself with excellence, is the prerequisite for all great leadership.
Dan Black ranks self-leadership as number one of the 10 essential elements of leadership. His point is that if we can’t master the first one, then the other nine are nearly impossible. Leading self is foundational to all leadership.
I’ve watched way too many leaders try to lead others and try to lead an organization while doing a rather poor job of leading themselves. Their influence never rises to the level of its highest potential. Here’s the deal, most people look at how we lead our own lives before they choose to follow us. They watch our attitude, our actions and our results before they gain the confidence we can lead them toward a better future.
In my own leadership journey, I’ve found Blacks’ observations to hit the bulls eye. In his new book, he talks about these five foundational elements for leading self:
Know yourself–This is about knowing who you are and how you have been created. Everyone has a God-designed uniquely-shaped purpose. Discover it. Live it. Find your significance in it.
Follow your core–This is about being a person of character and integrity. Authenticity is all about integration of the inner being and the outward behavior. Reputation is all about working on the external so you can impress others. Character is about allowing God to work on the inside so you become the person He intended you to be.
Take care of yourself—This is about placing a priority on your overall well-being. Body, soul, mind and spirit are all equally a part of who God created us to become. We are stewards of what He has entrusted to us. Care well for each dimension of His creation.
Maintain a right attitude—This is about choosing to always have a positive attitude. It starts with attitude. Everything tends to rise on fall on attitude. Be aware of your own as much as you are aware of the attitude of others.
Live a balanced life—This is about living a sustainable life. A quick burst and then a flame out doesn’t do anyone much good. Leadership is mostly a series of sprints that total the length of a marathon. As I wrote recently: Divert daily. Withdraw weekly. Abandon annually.
Yes. Absolutely. Your greatest influence as a leader will begin when you manage and lead yourself well. Determine to lead yourself well today for greater leadership impact tomorrow.
QUESTION: What would you add that has helped you to lead yourself well? Please share it below.
It’s a year ago today that I launched this blog to inspire transformissional living in others! I’m humbled and blessed because you’ve shared how my writing has inspired and kept you on mission. I’m encouraged by the wide age-range of you who read it and find it helpful. I’m thrilled that you have varying faith backgrounds and each of you find it helpful and encouraging while looking through your own unique lens. I’m grateful and highly honored every time you take the time to share the blog and individual postings on your social media sites. I’m inspired every time you engage with the topic and share your comments. I learn from you and your experiences. Thank you for a wonderfully successful first year!!!
I reviewed the stats and found the top 5 most frequently viewed posts since October 1, 2012. Here they are:
- Visible But Overlooked
- Valentine’s Day
- Fruit Full Faith
- What Makes Your Heart Sing?
- Most Admired Leadership Qualities
And, as usual, I like to compile the monthly stats to determine the top five most read posts. As you will see, the first and fifth in the list are the same for the month and for the year.
Here are the top five for September 2013:
- Visible But Overlooked
- Harder Than It Looks
- Crossing Guard Inspiration
- It’s Not About You
- Most Admired Leadership Qualities
Thanks again for your support and I look forward to another year of conversation and dialogue as I carry out my mission of inspiring transformissional living in all whom I encounter in life. God bless you!
QUESTION: What post impacted you the most over the last year? Please share it below.
One of the things I love to instill in young developing leaders is the dance of finding good balance in life. Just as every style of physical dancing takes astonishing balance, likewise balance is critical in the dance of work and rest, confrontation and compassion, career and family, pushing forward and patiently waiting, faith and reason, law and grace and many more tension points we encounter nearly every day.
Balance is one of 7 defining characteristics I recently identified for admired leaders. In my nearly 35 years of leadership experience, I’ve watched too many leaders and wanna-be leaders crash and burn because something in their life got out of balance. Sometimes it’s related to schedule. Other times it is an issue of planning or priorities. Bottom line, it’s a dance. Imbalance will cause you to hit the floor.
Here’s a couple things I’ve been learning about balance:
Plan Down-time into Your Schedule – Nearly three decades ago I heard Rick Warren say, “Divert Daily, Withdraw Weekly, Abandon Annually.” Our bodies, minds and spirits were not designed to go full speed, 24/7/365. For sustainability, we need diversions, we need breaks, and we need rest, retreats, respite and renewal. I was fortunate to have a father who insisted that Sunday was a day of physical rest and spiritual renewal. He refused to allow harvesting to continue on the farm even if rain was forecast for Monday. We went to church and enjoyed food and fellowship with friends and family.
When my wife and I were newly-married college students, we planned for Sunday to be a break from studying. If we had a test or a paper due on Monday, we planned our schedules to finish preparations on Saturday or to get up very early on Monday morning. Those planned disengagements from our studies in our early years served us well. We developed patterns in our lives that helped us over the last several decades as church-planters who had to be very intentional about discontinuing the endless work each day, taking a day off each week and going away on vacation every year.
Keep the Priceless Elevated Above the Worthwhile – There are a lot of things in life that are worthwhile. You can spend your entire energy and time on those worthwhile things—jobs, careers, toys, success, retirement accounts and more. Nothing wrong with worthwhile efforts. Success and planning for the future is good. But some things are priceless. Money can’t buy them. Hard work won’t replace them.
What are those priceless things for you? Your relationship with your spouse, your children, your grandchildren, your friends? What about your health? Your legacy? Your reputation? Your integrity? Have you clearly identified the priceless things in your life? I know way too many leaders who have sacrificed the priceless for the worthwhile. Now they live in regret, shame and disappointment.
Balance in life is a delicate dance. Trying to work harder to gather more for yourself or to give more to your family isn’t necessarily what you or they need. You might even be collecting or distributing worthwhile stuff but even the worthwhile can never replace the priceless. What priceless thing will you intentionally invest in and treasure today?
QUESTION: What would you add to the list of priceless things? Please share it below.
