On Thanksgiving Day and most days across America and around the world, people pause while the food is steaming hot, join hands around the table, and give thanks. Sometimes, we call it, “Saying grace.” It might be a memorized prayer passed down from previous generations, a silent prayer or a spontaneous expression of thanks led by a family member. Whatever your custom, I love these words by Jackie Windspear, “Grace isn’t a prayer you say before receiving a meal. It’s a way to live.”
Grace-filled living is as rare and unique as authentic heart-filled prayer around the dinner table. Whether it is aging gracefully, treating others with grace or experiencing grace, it’s just not that common. Yet, when it comes down to it, most all of us would really like to be remembered for our grace. We want our lives to be filled with the rich cornucopia of grace—gentleness, love, kindness, peace, purpose, gratitude, abundance, beauty and joy.
What does a grace-filled life look like? What are the key ingredients necessary so you and others will recognize a graceful life when they see it? Let me suggest a few:
Receive God’s Grace – You can’t give away what you haven’t received or experienced. God is the ultimate dispenser and model for grace. Romans 5:6-8 gives us a compelling picture, “You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
Receive the Grace of Others – How well do you receive compliments? When someone comments on your new haircut, your bold, visionary idea at work, do you take it in? Do you let it fill your heart and soul with appreciation and joy? Or do you laugh in embarrassment and wave it off? Perhaps you shrug your shoulders and mumble, “Oh, it’s nothing.”
In contrast, make eye contact, let it soak in and say a deeply meant, “Thank you, that means so much to me.” Without gratitude, you can never feel emotionally and spiritually full. You can never accept and trust that life is joyous and rewarding. And while you may say grace before a meal, the point of a life well lived is to live in grace as much as possible. That can only happen when gratitude becomes you.
Make a Daily Decision to Live In Grace – What does it mean to live in grace? First you experience gratitude for what you have. You receive and realize God’s grace on a daily basis. You appreciate the gifts that come with your everyday life–even the challenges that help you grow. It allows you to more fully experience and appreciate all that happens. In time, grace and gratitude become part of your identity. Little by little, you start to notice how receiving and giving grace becomes more natural to you, almost instinctive–a kind of everyday grace.
When you begin to live in grace and receive it as a natural part of everyday life, it becomes much easier to extend grace to others. What we are overflowing with, spills out and splashes on others. We can freely give what we have freely received.
So this week, and every week, make it a practice to see the opportunity in the crisis, the blessing in the disappointment, and the joy when it goes just like you want it to. When you do, grace will, indeed, become a way of living.
QUESTION: How are you learning to live in grace? We would love to learn from you as you share in the comment section below.
Did you survive Black Friday? I’m always amazed to hear of people camping outside a store for 8 days to save $240 on a new TV. My math doesn’t calculate economic sense (if you are employed) into such an outrageous decision but it gives news directors a story to fill up a 30-minute slot on a slow news day. A favorite author and blogger, Seth Godin jarred my attention recently with this question, “What happens when we adopt the posture of being in a hurry to be generous?”
We are often in a hurry. We are in a hurry to get to the front of the line, to finish first, to close a sale, to get a limited item before the hoarders get it. What if we became known as the people who are in a hurry to be generous? It’s an interesting sort of impatience.
Wouldn’t it be a game-changer if you and I were notorious for generosity with our insight, our kindness, our place in line, our time, talent and treasure? What if the news this week was filled with people putting others ahead of themselves, serving the needy, giving the poor a hand up rather than brawls at Wal-mart over a $4.99 video game?
There are very few people who don’t like the idea of generosity. We humans love to help others and confront needs when we see them. Unfortunately, there are also very few people who are content with the level of generosity in their lives. Most people I know wish they were able to give more.
Joshua Becker, blogger at the popular Becoming Minimalist website, suggests we move toward generosity through taking simple steps:
Consider the Benefits of Generosity – Generous people report being happier, healthier and more satisfied than those who don’t give.
Embrace Gratitude – Make a list of the things in your life for which you are most grateful. Intentional reflection on your blessings will set the tone for sharing.
Start Small – If you’ve never given away money, start by giving away $1, $5, or $20. I had the privilege of growing up with the Biblical concept of tithing (meaning tenth) as my starting point but have grown in generosity to usually doubling that percentage each year.
Give First – Make your first expense the act of giving. Giving out of our left overs doesn’t work very well when we have been ingrained with the habit of spending all of it on ourselves.
Spend Time With People in Need – One of the most effective antidotes for non-generosity is to make space in your life for those much worse off than yourself. I’ve had the privilege of traveling to some of the poorest nations on this earth. But, just rubbing shoulders with need right in your own city can change your viewpoint.
Spend Time With Generous People – Hanging around generous people will inspire you. Ask them, “Have you always been generous? When did you become so generous, and why?”
Make a Decision to Own Less – Owning less doesn’t automatically make you a more generous person but it will provide the space necessary to make it possible.
Generosity rarely happens by chance. Instead, it is an intentional decision that we make in our lives. But it does not need to be as difficult as many people think. Starting with these simple steps may be the best step we can take in our hurry to be generous.
QUESTION: What simple steps have you incorporated into your life to foster generosity? Share yours below in the comment section.
Ancient scriptures instruct us to be filled with gratitude and thanksgiving. It turns out that our Creator knows exactly how He created our bodies to thrive in modern times. There is scientific evidence that counting your blessings produces multiplied health benefits. Dr. Robert Emmons and his colleagues at the University of California at Davis are among the pioneers in research on gratitude. Dr. Emmons leads a movement called positive psychology. Instead of focusing on illness, addictions and emotional problems, positive psychology studies health-promoting behavior and the pleasurable parts of life.
In one research project, Dr. Emmons reports that participants were divided into three groups, each of which made weekly entries in a journal. One group wrote five things they were grateful for. Another group described five daily hassles and then a control group listed five events that had affected them in some way.
The above study showed that the gratitude group felt better about their lives overall, were more optimistic about the future, and reported fewer health problems than the other participants. Results from a second study showed that daily writing led to a greater increase in gratitude than weekly practice. A third study reproduced these same results among a group of people suffering from various neuromuscular diseases such as fibromyalgia.
Similar studies of people using daily gratitude journals reported the gratitude group getting more sleep, spending less time awake before falling asleep and feeling more refreshed in the morning. Other related studies show that gratitude can have a protective effect against heart attacks. Dr. Emmon’s book, “Thanks!: How the New Science of Gratitude Can Make You Happier” details the results of his research.
GETTING STARTED—If you would like to increase the level of gratitude in your life, here are three suggestions:
Keep a Daily Gratitude Journal – Set aside time daily to record 3-5 things that you are thankful for. Make it as simple or elaborate as you prefer. The important thing is to establish the daily practice of paying attention to gratitude-inspiring events and write them down. Dr. Emmons suggests that performing this exercise for four days a week for three weeks can increase your happiness level by 25% or more for over six months.
Write a Gratitude Letter – Sit down and write a letter or an email to someone who has left a positive influence on your life and you’ve never taken the time to thank them. Even better, write out the letter and then read it to the person face to face.
Have a Gratitude Partner – The support of others encourages healthy behaviors. Just like an exercise partner can help you maintain the discipline of working out, a person with whom you share gratitude lists and give permission to remind you when you are sending out invitations to attend your pity party, can help you change the whole tone of your life.
So, what next step will you take to multiply the benefits of gratitude? What if you began today with even just one of these three suggestions? Here’s to a happy and healthy Thanksgiving week!
QUESTION: What’s one thing you are most thankful for? Share your gratitude in the comment section below.
While on vacation with my wife this week, we were visiting the Old Towne shops in Bera, Kentucky. Behind the counter of Hot Flash Beads, we met an inspiring lady, Jimmy Lou Jackson, owner and creator. She joyfully makes and sells all kinds of beads, earrings, necklaces and other jewelry. Jimmy Lou revels in demonstrating her lampworking process with a steady stream of jovial banter with her spectator-soon-to-be-customers. I love a quote on her wall-sized bio that reads, “You can do something practical or do something that makes your heart sing.”
In conversation with Jimmy Lou, we learned that that she spent every work day up until age 50, examining PAP smears in a lab looking for cancer cells. Certainly, her calling made a significant difference in the early detection of cancer in the lives of thousands of Central Kentucky women over those many years. But now, the former cytologist, heats up science with a love of art. My wife looked over Jimmy Lou’s shoulder as her glowing torch met with molten glass rods, slowly forming and building each uniquely designed bead by hand. Jackson’s bead jewels are as astonishing and distinctive as the natural patterns that occur in fossils, gems and minerals. Fusing the worlds of science and art, Jimmy Lou has found her calling.
Are you doing what makes your heart sing? Or, are you just doing what is practical? If your days aren’t filled with what makes your heart sing, why not? What would a perfect day look like for you? Take time to write out a brief description.
What steps will you need to take to get to live your perfect day a year from now or two years from now? Even if you can’t completely transition to your dream life in a year or two, what intermediary steps will you take in the next year to prepare for a more complete shift later? The areas that usually need attention are finances, time and your energy—both emotional and spiritual.
What are the obstacles that stand in your way of living in such a way that you are doing what makes your heart sing? It’s good to start building your capacity now in the areas above so they aren’t hinderances. Obviously, if you don’t take any steps toward living your dream now, you will never live it in the future.
Jimmy Lou is living her dream because she made deliberate determinations and decisions before age 50. What one thing will you do this week to make your heart sing?
QUESTION: What makes your heart sing? Share it with the rest of us in the comment section below.
To live a life of significance, it’s mission critical that you evaluate and understand three areas of your life. Halftime leader, Lloyd Reeb calls them the three C’s: Core, Capacity and Context. The more you understand your core, your capacity and your context, the greater legacy footprint you will leave behind.
The Bible indicates you were created by God in a unique way for a unique purpose. Ephesians 2:10 says, “For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which he prepared in advance for us to do.” The challenge is to discover where your unique abilities combine with what you are most passionate about and then to join in what you can see God is already doing in that arena.
CORE
Do you have a mission statement for your life? Are you clear about what your passions and strengths are? Most people I know never take the time to slow down and analyze their life long enough to develop an answer to a question like, “What do I want to be remembered for?”
I’ve carried a small laminated card in my wallet for many years. It’s my life mission statement: “To be an authentic connection between God and people through exercising my leadership gifts and unique personality.” Last weekend, while sitting with a dozen guys going through the process led by Lloyd Reeb (Author of Success to Significance), I actually decided that I would adopt the header of this blog as my new life mission statement: “Inspiring transformissional living in adults over 50.” Have you written or updated your life mission statement recently? In a future blog, I will give you some tips on writing a mission statement.
CAPACITY
Your capacity to live your mission will usually be fueled by or hindered by three things: Time available, your financial situation and your emotional or spiritual energy. If you don’t have the discipline needed to say “no” to the good things so you can say “yes” to the best things, you will not have the capacity needed to fulfill your God-inspired purpose. Financial freedom or burdensome debt will either propel you toward or keep you from your mission. Your capacity to do what you’re created for is also determined by your emotional and/or spiritual energy. If you live in a deficit instead of with an overflow, you will be hard-pressed to have all the capacity you need when times get tough.
CONTEXT
The environment in which you share your time, talent and treasure is critical for maximizing your calling. The role you play and the organization where you serve can become game-changers for fruitfulness. Knowing yourself, your personality, your gifts and your wiring are very important for finding the best setting for carrying out your God-designed mission.
How are you doing in your core, your capacity and your context? The place where all three C’s overlap is where you will experience the “sweet spot” of maximum significance.
QUESTION: Would you share your life mission statement? Write in the comment section below.
Recently, while spending time with Lloyd Reeb (Author of Success to Significance) and a dozen guys who were exploring what it means to live a life of significance, he said something that got my attention. It wasn’t a new thought to me. But this one thought sometimes gets lost in the hurry and scurry of life. A life of significance is built from the inside out. So simple, yet so powerful.
The Foundation Assessment exercise above, (available as a download at Halftime) will help you discern where you are right now in three very important areas of your life.
Your Inside World
How are you doing in your personal growth? Are still learning and stretching or are you just coasting and relying on your past knowledge? How about your health? To the degree you can control it, are you being a good steward of your body? If you are married, to what degree is your marriage thriving? What about your faith? Is it stagnant or growing? Do you nurture it daily?
Your Surrounding World
Score yourself on a 1-10 scale. How are you doing in your finances, parenting, career and friendships? Are you a good manager of what has been entrusted to you? Have you been intentional about staying connected to your children and grandchildren? Has your career been God honoring and fruitful? Do you have friends and do you regularly invest in those relationships?
Your Outside World
Are you making an impact in your community and beyond? Are you being intentional about making a positive, eternal impact in your local church and/or community? What about regionally, nationally or internationally?
If you are going to ignite a life of impact and adventure, you must build a solid foundation. Without a solid foundation, you will not be able to live a balanced, rewarding and sustainable second half.
QUESTION: What is one step you will take this week to build a stronger foundation? Share it in the comment section below.
I learned something new about my friend Dr. Jerry Clevenger when we were together over the weekend. He took a .380 hollow-point bullet to his chest. Predictably, it changed his life! Jerry was on the only path he knew to prosperity—climbing the corporate ladder while working for a major Wall Street investment bank. While taking pictures of a new acquisition in a not-so-nice area of town, he heard a loud bang and soon realized he was on the wrong end of a gang-initiation drive-by shooting.
A close look at these pictures (above and below) reveals the bullet hole through Jerry’s book, Paths to Prosperity. On that impactful life-changing day, Jerry was standing — holding his leather-covered writing notepad portfolio with his published book in front of his chest (bottom left) when the shooting happened. The bullet carved its path through the front cover of the portfolio, the book, the yellow writing pad, and then exiting out through the back of the portfolio, through a rib and into his chest.
After being treated at the hospital, an ER nurse placed the extracted bullet fragments in a specimen jar and wrote “RO 12” on the outside, told him, “God has a purpose for you to be alive,” and then sent Jerry home. Later he discovered the meaning of the code on the souvenir jar and read Romans 12 in the Bible with his eyes and heart locked on phrases like, “Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment…we have different gifts according to the grace given to each of us…use them diligently…never lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord.” (Romans 12:3-11).
For the last several years, Jerry has discovered a whole new path to a different kind of prosperity. He has moved from success to significance. He coaches high-capacity leaders to leverage their time, talent and treasure for substantial and eternal purposes through the Halftime organization. Jerry is a part of a movement that guides marketplace leaders to transform first half success into second half significance on a journey of impact and adventure.
These are the kind of questions Jerry began asking himself when he had a rib-shattering encounter with a bullet:
What do I want to be remembered for?
What can I do with my life that excites me and could make a difference in people’s lives?
What gifts has God given me that I’m not currently using?
Which of my dreams have not been fulfilled?
What gives life meaning?
You don’t need to encounter a .380 hollow-point to ask these questions. But I can guarantee, they will be life-changing and put you on a path to a fulfilling and prosperous life if you take the time to come up with your own authentic answers.
QUESTION: How are you doing in answering these questions? Share your comments below.
What are the common benchmarks of success in America? Bank accounts, material accumulations, achievements, attaining career goals, level of influence – these are just a sampling of the benchmarks, aren’t they? So how does God define success? Is it the same measurement?
As I’ve observed people in the Bible whom God calls successful, it’s notable that He is not at all against wealthy, influential, achieving, goal-reaching individuals. However, accomplishments alone aren’t the scale of measurement. Those who earned the success sticker from God primarily focused on God and consistently obeyed Him.
In Genesis, we read (in Chapter 39) that God considered it a sign of success when young Joseph attained great favor and powerful influence in Egypt. Joseph enjoyed success because he followed God’s direction for his life, lived with integrity and walked in humility.
In the book of Joshua, the Bible tells us that the underlying foundation of success is following God’s instructions. Joshua told his followers, “Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful” (Joshua 1:8).
The point is, it seems clear that God doesn’t automatically stamp “Successful” on someone due to the same measurements we use in American culture. God looks through the lens of an eternal perspective. The Bible dares us to redefine success in higher terms than wealth, favor, and prominence. We are to pursue God’s favor and His eternal reward by leveraging our time, talent and treasure in everlasting investments.
As for me, I want my life to be measured by God’s ruler. What about you?
QUESTION: What additional measurements do you think are important to God? Share in the comment section below.
Everyone’s life is driven by something. Some are driven by guilt. Many people are driven by resentment and anger. I know people who are driven by fear. Others are driven by the desire to acquire. And, quite a few are driven by the need for approval. What drives your life?
Rick Warren’s best-selling book, The Purpose Driven Life, has some of the best material written anywhere on the topic of purpose. In chapter 7, he shares the five great benefits of living a purpose driven life.
Knowing your purpose gives meaning to your life. All of us were made to have meaning. Without meaning, life has no significance or hope. Hope is essential to your life as air and water. Warren says, “You need hope to cope.” Hope comes from having purpose. Purpose and hope are found in God himself. This scripture is a favorite of mine when God says, “I have good plans for you, not plans to hurt you. I will give you hope and a good future” (Jeremiah 29:11).
Knowing your purpose simplifies your life. I’ve learned that my purpose becomes the standard by which I evaluate my life. I have a filter question that I ask often, “Does this activity help me fulfill one of God’s purposes for my life?” It’s impossible for me to do everything people want me to do. But I do have enough time to do what God wants me to do.
Knowing your purpose focuses your life. You become effective by being selective. Without a clear purpose, we will have a tendency to keep changing directions, jobs, relationships, churches or other externals. One of the benefits of getting older is that you’ve had lots of experience doing things you don’t want to or don’t like to do. Make sure you are focused at this stage of life. There is nothing quite as potent as a focused life.
Knowing your purpose motivates your life. Purpose produces passion. If you have no purpose, just getting out of bed becomes a major chore. Meaningless work, not overwork, saps our strength and robs our joy. Clear purpose energizes.
Knowing your purpose prepares you for eternity. Some spend their lives trying to create a lasting legacy on earth. Yet, achievements are eventually surpassed, records are broken, trophies get rusty, reputations fade and tributes are forgotten. Building an eternal legacy is much more important.
One day I will stand before God and he will do an audit of my life, a final exam, before I enter eternity. As I understand the Bible, it will be a two-question test: 1) What did you do with my Son, Jesus Christ? 2) What did you do with what I gave you?
My two answers to the final exam will be: 1) I accepted what Jesus did for me and loved him with all my heart, soul, mind and strength. 2) I invested my time, talent and treasure for the purpose God made me for.
Take an inventory today: What’s driving you? What would your family and friends say is the driving force of your life? What do I want it to be? And finally, what will your final exam answers be to God’s two questions?
QUESTION: What have you learned about purposeful living? Thanks for sharing your thoughts in the comment section below.
As a 58 year old Baby Boomer, I am so inspired by people in their 60’s, 70’s and 80’s that are engaged in life with a purpose! Last Thursday night, I was privileged to have dinner with 91 year-old Dois Rosser. He started International Cooperating Ministries (www.icm.org) when he was 65 years old.
ICM, the organization Dois launched, has helped to build over 4,200 churches in 63 countries in the last 26 years. An additional 20,000 daughter churches have been planted. And they are mobilizing business leaders and churches to build and plant several thousand more churches in the next year. Remember, this has all been done AFTER he turned 65!
Think what could happen if millions of Baby Boomers had the mindset of businessman Dois Rosser who went on a mission trip to India at age 65 and then came home, inspired and passionate about making sure growing churches could construct a building that would be the thriving center of community life in villages all around the world. John Maxwell, author and speaker, describes Mr. Rosser to a tee when he writes, “A great leader’s courage to fulfill his vision comes from passion, not position.”
Anything can happen when people have two things—passion and purpose. Author Steve Pavlina said, “Passion and purpose go hand in hand. When you discover your purpose, you will normally find it’s something you’re tremendously passionate about.” Do you know your purpose?
Most experts agree that someone who is 65 today is effectively more productive than a 65-year-old might have been 20 years ago. Yet, why is it that so many get to their 60’s and they just lift their foot off the accelerator and coast the rest of their lives? What if every Baby Boomer would press the accelerator and move full speed ahead toward discovering their purpose and living it out with passion?
Let’s make it more personal. What are you doing to discover and clarify your purpose? Is there anything that’s putting on the brakes to you knowing and fulfilling your purpose? Let’s talk about that more this week, okay?
QUESTION: What is one resource that helped you to discover or clarify your purpose? Please share it with us in the Comment area below.
